i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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