I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
