I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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