If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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