It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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