Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize