i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
