So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
