After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i would punch a child for taco bell
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
