I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
