You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I touched a dick in church today
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
