after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
