best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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