Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I wish you could order shots online.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
