Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you would pick up someone in the library
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
