that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
