i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
