Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Its about making memories worth repressing
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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