I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
