Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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