If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize