haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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