Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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