Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
