I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
