he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
