Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize