You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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