if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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