Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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