i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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