No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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