what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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