I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
