i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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