my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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