I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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