I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
