I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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