Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
