i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
did i walk over a car last night?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
