Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
