smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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