just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
