I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
