He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize