and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
don't judge my taste in strippers
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
