i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
