For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
