he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
