Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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