Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
