so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
