every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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