he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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