When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize