She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
