im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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