Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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