Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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