I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
there was a trapeze. enough said
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
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