I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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