She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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