I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My ass is underappreciated
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
