I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
