You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
