I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
porn star boner night. come get it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
