Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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