Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
