do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
