Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can text with my tongue
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
