I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
